Hello all. My name is Stuart Wood and this is the first edition of the Mash Media fantasy football roundup, where we’ll take a look back at this week’s winners and losers from across the events industry.

Week 1 was dominated by attacking defenders and midfielders, with none of the 22 highest-scoring players being strikers. Teams with the likes of Manchester City’s Benjamin Mendy or Crystal Palace’s Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Jeffery Schlupp did very well, as did those who plumped for Everton’s new signing Richarlison.

At the top of the AAA league after one week is Miika Keranen’s Oulu City FC, with an eye-watering 103 points. But with a whole season still to play, there’s no way to predict who might come out on top. My own team The Stu Man Group have a long way to go yet…

For those of you who didn’t have quite as successful a week, here’s a few tips to improving your points haul. First, remember you don’t have to play the default 4-4-2 formation, and that you may wish to play with five midfielders or three strikers on any given week.

Second, remember to regularly check your team for injuries and transfer out anyone who isn’t actually playing. Your substitutes are important, too – they’ll be automatically swapped in for any players on your main team who didn’t get game time. Whether you want to pick cheap subs and an expensive first team, or spread the cost out between all your players, is a tactical choice.

 

The Mash Pun League…

But now we come to the most important league of all…the Mash Pun League! Let’s take a look at some of the most creative team names across the Exhibition News and Access All Areas fantasy leagues, and see whose is the best.

5.) Show Me Da Mane– Simon Perry, Mark Kao and Mauricio Montes. A solid pun, this, and bonus points to Simon Perry and Mark Kao who actually featured Sadio Mane as their team captain and were rewarded heavily, as he was the highest scoring player of gameweek 1. Minus points for lack of originality, as three of you picked the same team name.

4.) Ospina Colada– Charlie Parmentier and Reiss Kennedy. Another cracking pun on former Arsenal goalkeeper David Ospina, but again – minus points for two teams with the same name.

3.) Le Saux Solid Crew– Josh Roberts. I for one would definitely listen to So Solid Crew’s ’21 Seconds’ if it featured former Chelsea defender Graham Le Saux. Bonus points, too, for picking a pun that doubles as an actual team name.

2.) Hakuna Juan Mata– Matthew Barlow. If only Jose Mourinho could adopt this problem-free philosophy, he might stop being such a grumpy bastard all the time. Well done, Matthew.

1.) Neville Wears Prada– Kevin Lawson. Marvellous work, Kevin. Marvellous. This team name from the Access All Areas league is my pick of the bunch – nothing makes me happier than imagining an alternate reality version of The Devil Wears Prada featuring Phil Neville in place of Anna Hathaway in the lead role.

 

That’s all for the first EN fantasy football roundup. Check back in next month for a progress report on the industry’s premier sporting event.

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